Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters (3D) (2013, Dir. Thor Freudenthal, USA) (Cert: PG/PG) **

Starring: Logan Lerman, Alexandra Daddario, Douglas Smith

When protecting a group of fellow half-bloods (people who are the offspring of humans and gods), Thalia (Paloma Kwaiatkowski), daughter of Zeus is mortally wounded by a strange beast. As she died, Zeus used his powers to absorb her into a tree; her energy creating an invisible sheild around half-blood settlement, Camp Half-blood. Seven years later, the shield is damaged by a mysterious poison arrow hitting the tree and Percy Jackson (Lerman), half-blood son of Perseus is sent to solve the mystery with his friend Annabeth (Daddario) the skilled but arrogant Clarisse (Leven Rambin) and Tyson (Smith) Percy's half-brother who, by virtue of being half-god (through Poseidon) and half-nymph, is a cyclops

The sequel to Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief (2010) (and a film adaptation of a series of books by Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters is partly inspired by the myth of Jason And The Argonaughts, but despite a promising premise, this film falls flat, moreso than the already fairly disappointing Lightning Thief. There are a couple of improvements, mostly that he film's use of ancient Greek mythology isn't entirely constrained by setting to the US, (although The Bermuda Triangle still isn't very exotic by these standards) and the film's characters are largely unlikeable. Percy Jackson seems decent enough, but as heroes go, he's pretty bland and Logan Lerman has enough talent to pull off more complex roles (such as in last year's The Perks Of Being A Wallflower) and Alexandr Daddario's subplot about her dislike of Tyson the cyclops, whilst given some reasoning towards the end, comes across as horrifically nasty, judging by appearance and even at one point coercing him to sue a spray to make him appear more normal (put this towards a context of real-life prejudice's and the subtext becomes really disturbing). Clarisse is the only really agreeable character, even if its just because her snarky asides match my own gripes with the story.

Visually, the film fares a little better. Tis time around, we're given a new adversary in Kronos; seemingly equal-parts Sauron from Lord Of The Rings, Satan (with elements of the portrayal of Chernabog in Fantasia (1940)) and the MCP from TRON (1982). His intriguing form of motion and the scenes detailing his backstory are the film's definite highlight. The film was not originally made for 3D but this was adjusted in post-production and it shows. The 3D is all but unnecessary and the already dark and murky cinematography is rendered frustratingly muddied all the more by the significant light-loss with Reflex 3D glasses. At the film's end (after we've stumbled through a brief  re-enactment to the finale of Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981)) seems to imply there's more of this to come. The series does show potential at a conceptual level, but there needs to be a lot more effort put in if there are to be later instalments.

Next time, Bruce Willis plays Frank Moses and teams up with his old secret service buddies (and an insane Anthony Hopkins) to foil a bomb plot in RED 2.

SNEAK PREVIEW: The Lone Ranger (2013, Dir. Gore Verbinski, USA) (Cert: 12a/PG-13) ***

Starring: Armie Hammer, Johnny Depp, William Fitchtner

Following his studies at law school, John Reid (Hammer) returns to his small hometown of Colby, Texas which is on the verge of being along the emerging trans-national railway. John starts aiding his brother Dan (James Badge Dale), a ranger, in the apprehension of escaped criminal, Butch Cavendish (Fitchtner) but an ambush leaves John the only surviving ranger in the area (having only recently been bestowed the honour) after being revived by a strange Comanche known as Tonto (Depp, Joseph E. Foy) John becomes convinced by Tonto that he is invincible in battle and with his Comanche ally at hand, John Reid becomes The Lone Ranger.

With director Gore Verbinski and producer Jerry Bruckheimer having pretty much single-handedly revived the believed-to-be-dead pirate swashbuckler movie with the Pirates Of The Caribbean trilogy (2003 - 2005),the duo now take on a revival of the legendary Lone Ranger. Financially, it doesn't seem to have worked but the film is not the creative failure its disappointing box office performance suggests. The opening and closing twenty minutes of the film are exactly what you want with The Lone Ranger. Rip-roaring straight-ahead action, goodies against baddies and the William Tell Overture blasting away. However, these forty minutes aside in a two-and-a-half hour film, the mood drops considerably. We have a great deal of emphasis on the Ranger's origins, a major expansion (and over-complication) of the villainous plot and also too much focus on the lives of Dan Reid's wife (Ruth Wilson) and son (Bryant Prince). The film ultimately seems like more of an homage to Sergio Leone than The Lone Ranger with various shots (and one plot point) borrowed wholesale from The Good, The Bad And The Ugly (1966) and a very Morricone-esque score from Hans Zimmer (featuring some string arrangements that are extremely close to those in Harmonica's leitmotif in Once Upon A Time In The West (1968).

Hammer and Depp make for a good duo, especially Depp who, naturally, makes for a memorable presence, enthusing Tonto not only with an enjoyable degree of comedy but giving him a dignity and dimension that was missing from the admittedly loveable Captain Jack Sparrow, although whenever Helena Bonham-Carter appears you can't help but feel you've stumbled into a Tim Burton film. This incarnation of Ranger and Tonto may not be up there with Butch and Sundance of Blondie and Tuco as a great western duo, but they play their part well.

I grow tired of darker introspections on our classic heroes. The Dark Knight trilogy (2005 - 2012) might have reinvigorated the superhero film, but I feel weary for more straight-forward action adventure films such as Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981) or Superman (1978). However, whilst The Lone Ranger is a flawed but film it is very entertaining nonetheless and it's a shame that it's been as financially unfortunate as it has. 

Next time, the return of young demigod, Percy Jackson on a search for The Golden Fleece in Percy Jackson & The Sea Of Monsters.

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa (2013, Dir. Declan Lowney, UK) (Cert: 15/TBC) ****

Starring; Steve Coogan, Colm Meaney, Tim Key

Alan Partridge (Coogan) hosts his own programme on the digital radio station, North Norfolk Digital (formerly Radio Norwich) with Sidekick Simon (Key). With North Norfolk Digital being sold off to a media group looking to rebrand the station as Shape, a choice needs to be made on what DJ to drop. Either Partridge, or long-time night-time presenter, Pat Farrell (Meany). When Alan catches wind of this, he convinces the new management to show Pat the door. Later that night, Pat comes back brandishing a shotgun having gone into a complete breakdown. With the station now the scene of a hostage situation, Alan is called upon as a negotiator giving him the fame that he  craves.

After years of speculation, Steve Coogan and Armando Ianucci's (mostly) TV-based character of Alan Partridge is finally up on screen in Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa. Those familiar with the TV series Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge and particularly I'm Alan Partridge might find a film adventure for Alan a little strange, given that the character works better in the smaller scale traditionally associated with TV, given much if the humour derives from the mundane conflicts that make up Alan's life and quest for celebrity. However, as odd as the idea and plot seems for Partridge, it works extraordinarily well. The humour's pitch-perfect, helped by how amazingly well-rounded the character of Alan Partridge is and Coogan's confidence in the role, which he's played on-and-off for around twenty years. The film's strengths are also supported by other familiar faces such as Felicity Montagu as Alan's meek and long-suffering PA, Lynn and Simon Greenall as Alan's unhinged Geordie accomplice, Michael. The film is pretty light on dramatic material. There's a love interest (played by Monica Dolan) who's occasionally given some attention and Colm Meaney (perhaps best remembered by Star Trek fans for his lengthy stint as Miles O'Brien in The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine) seemingly having the time of his life playing a somewhat sympathetic antagonist. End to end, the film not only delivers a lot of laughs but very loud ones and is a must-see, especially for fans of the Partridge.

Next time: Armie Hammer dons the black mask with Johnny Depp in tow for Gore Verbinski's film adaptation of The Lone Ranger.

Kokuriko-Zaka Kara (From Up On Poppy Hill) (English-language dub) (2011, dir. Gorō Miyazaki, Japan) (Cert: U/PG) ****

Starring: Sarah Bolger, Anton Yelchin, Christina Hendricks

High-schooler Umi Matsuzaki (Bolger) looks after her home  and boarders whilst her mother (Jamie-Lee Curtis) is working in America. Umi's father, a sailor, died when his ship was destroyed in the Korean War and every day, Umi raises flags that spell out his name. One day at school, she comes across the idealistic Shun Kazama (Yelchin) and offers to help him on the school's newsletter and to fix up the school's club-house, which is in danger of being torn down with Japan looking to totally modernise itself in the run up to the 1964 Tokyo Olympics. As the two become closer, Umi and Shun come upon revelations about their families, that put their personal relationship in a compromising position.

The latest film from Studio Ghibli and from director Gorō Miyazaki, From Up On Poppy Hill is a moving, charming and entertaining drama. Many might expect that being the son of the legendary Hayao Miyazaki, Gorō's work would have his father's own touch of fantastical whimsy. Whilst this isn't without some evidence (the fantasy elements were around in the younger Miyazaki's film, Tales Of Earthsea (2006)), From Up On Poppy Hill is far more of a realistic film, though ti also covers Hayao Miyazaki's trademarks of young female protagonist, the need for preservation and a strong anti-war slant. A period film, the score bounces with styles from the early 60's (as well as the occasional use of genuine Japanese pop from the era) although the aesthetics seem a little too faithful to Hayao Miyazaki's work. Alongside this, as the story unfolds, some of the plot points can be a little...uncomfortable. This aside, the all-star cast make for engaging performances and as unoriginal as the film's visual style is, the designs and colouring are definitely up to Ghibli standard. From Up On Poppy Hill is not on a par with the likes of My Neighbour Totoro (1988) or Spirited Away in terms of quality and the style is notably very different to those films, but From Up On Poppy Hill is still often very stirring and strong.

Next time: Steve Coogan stars as Alan Partridge; North Norfolk's favourite digital radio DJ in the mid-morning time -slot as he's thrown into the centre of a hostage situation in Alan Partridge: Alpha Pappa.

The Conjuring (2013, Dir. James Wan, USA) (Cert: 15/R) ***

Starring: Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Ron Livingston

Married couple Ed (Wilson) and Lorraine (Farmiga) Warren are experts in the field of detecting possessions and hauntings, aided by Lorraine's ability to sense the paranormal. In 1971, the Perron family settled into their new home, only to experience various supernatural disturbances. The Warrens investigate, uncovering a dark and demonic past.

Claiming to be based on a true story, The Conjuring is a haunted house film from James Wan, the director of Saw (2005). The Conjuring plays mostly towards the expected conventions of the haunted house film and treads a path through pretty much everything you'd expect; odd noises and occurrences, strange whispers and plenty of scares designed to jolt you out of your seat. The film definitely owes a debt to The Amityville Horror (1979 and Poltergeist (1982) to the point where certain elements, and even scenes, from those films are heavily alluded to here. The film's best asset is how it plays with structure, with he more sedate scenes of the Warrens' home life and time giving lectures on their field being well (if unevenly) handled. There are countless films like The Conjuring and plenty of them are just plain better than The Conjuring. However, the film's use of tension and shock tactics is impressive and whilst the film lurches a little too much towards the unintentionally comic (especially in the last act) it's a perfectly serviceable horror film

Only God Forgives (2013, Dir. Nicholas Winding Refn, Denmark/France/Thailand/USA/Sweden) (Cert: 18/R) ***

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Vithaya Pansringarm, Kristen Scott-Thomas

American brothers Julian (Gosling) and Billy (Tom Burke) live in Thailand, involved in the local kick-boxing circuit and the underworld. Billy's debauched tastes in sex get the better if him when he kills a sixteen-year-old prostitute (Aratchaporn Sataed) and is himself killed by the prostitute's father (Kovit Wattanakul) as a result. Now, Julian is left to face a powerful criminal kingpin (Pansringarm) who allowed Nilly's killing and who is in cahoots with a crooked police force.

In 2011, Drive made internationally renowned names of Danish director, Nicholas Winding Refn and his American star, Ryan Gosling. Now they're back together in another gritty crime thriller, moving from Drive's setting of Los Angeles getaway driving into the world of organised crime in Thailand. Despite the change in setting, Only God Forgives keeps with a lot of Drive's conventions. Ryan Gosling still plays the same stoic and largely silent and possibly psychopathic protagonist in Julian, although Kirsten Scott-Thomas steals the show as someone who could've been the mother from hell, if hell could've put up with her and the rather...intense...relationship that's she's implied to have with her sons. The film is also extremely stylised with much of the scenery set against the night and with strong use of black and red. Refn's fondness for stylisation does often overwhelm the production and with the frequent use of long scenes with no dialogue, often using slow motion, it certainly not too harsh to call Refn out on being pretentious. The film is also shockingly violent and gives a very downbeat perspective of life in suburban Thailand. However, the visuals are sumptuous and Refn's work, whilst over self-indulgent is at least technically accomplished and intriguing to look at. Fans of Drive might want to consider giving this a watch, but many people will either love or hate this film and could probably justify either opinion quite easily.

The Smurfs 2 (3D) (2013, Dir. Raja Gosnell, USA) (Cert: U/PG) **

Starring: Neil Patrick Harris, Katy Perry, Hank Azaria

In the village populated by the small and blue creatures known as the Smurfs, plans are set to celebrate the birthday of the only female smurf, Smurfette (Perry), who was created by the evil wizard Gargamel (Azaria) to trap the smurfs, only for Smurfette to become a 'true' smurf and their friend. However, it's a surprise party and whilst the party is being kept secret, Smurfette believes she's being rejected and runs away to Paris with two of Gargamel's other creations, Vexy (Christina Ricci) and Hackus (J.B. Smooth) in a plot to bring Smurfette back to Gargamel. Concerned for Smurfette, a group of smurfs take off for Paris to track her down.

A sequel to the 2011 film the, The Smurfs, based on a creation by Belgian cartoonist, Peyo, The Smurfs 2 takes the action to Paris calling to mind The Rugrats 2 (2001) another animated sequel to a film adaptation of a kids favourite, that transplanted the action to Paris. However, here the cultural cliches are rather down-played, focusing more on the story which relies in no small part on the aidience's familiarity with the first recent Smurfs film (as opposed to the several animated films of the Smurfs that have been drifting around for decades). There are some notable cast changes as some smurfs in the foreground in the 2011 film (such as Alan Cumming's Gutsy Smurf) are pushed into the background whilst other smurfs that were in the background in 2011 (particularly, Jon Oliver's Vanity Smurf) are now in the foreground. Neil Patrick Harris as our human lead also gets a new actor to work with, alongside a returning Jayma Mays (a woman so perky and extremely doe-eyed she looks a perfect fit to interact in a semi-cartoonised world.), with fiery Sophia Vegara being replaced by a surprisingly more jovial, Brendon Gleeson.

A big problem is that whilst the 2011 film did have some genuinely sweet and engrossing moments despite being profoundly flawed, The Smurfs 2 is far too haphazard to really provoke any reaction. It deals with some intriguingly lofty ideas (I'm disappointed that the film isn't titled, The Smurfs 2: Smurfette's Existential Crisis)  but us crowded by rather lacklustre jokes and little emotional resonance, coupled with a great number of issues on a logical front (and you're dealing with tiny blue creatures crossing dimensions, so imagine how big those logical gaps are). Hank Azaria provides a pleasing villain, largely because he's always an entertaining presence in comic roles, even if you'll occasionally hear him play a little too close vocally towards Moe from The Simpsons, whilst his feline sidekick, Azrael, is the stand-out character. But it says a great deal when your best character is a semi-anthropomorphised cat. Push it in with occasionally gratuitous CGI imagery and you get a film that isn't offensively poor, but doesn't make the best of what assets it has.