Top 10 Worst Films Of 2015

10. Hot Pursuit

Well, first things first, the title. We have a film about a female cop and the partner of a drug lord in the setup to an action-comedy and yet it still seems appropriate to have the title and advertising make sum up as "Ain't they a little too pretty to wind up in this misadventure?". Aren't we more enlightened than that by now? Thankfully the film has a saving grace in the casting of Sofia Vergara and Reese Witherspoon as the leads; two talented actresses with fine comic chops, but the by-the-numbers plot and rather unworthy gags make for a generally disappointing experience.

9. Fantastic Four

Of all of the disasters and flops in Hollywood this past year, it's hard to think of any as spectacular or well-publicised as the failed attempt to reboot the Fantastic Four. Whilst Marvel seemed to have the golden touch (having also this year, managed to rescue the troubled Ant-Man and turned it into one of the franchise's best films), it quickly tainted with this mediocre and ill-judged attempt at resurrection. Conflicts between director, writer and cast are already becoming notorious and it's looks as if the cast had absolutely no guidance on set, with largely detached performances, a plot that really only kicks in right at the very end of the film and some insane casting choices I've ever seen (Jamie Bell is a perfect Tin-Tin, but The Thing? THE THING!?). Sooner or later the bubble had to burst in Marvel, and the Fantastic Four showed that the money-making machine was still fallable.

8. Insurgent

Ms. Winslet, Ms. Woodley, I am so sorry. It just wouldn't be a Top 10 Worst Films Of The Year list without a Young Adult novel adaptation making an appearance and this year, it is the turn of the follow-up to Divergent (2013). In of itself, Divergent was a reasonably enjoyable film. Doubtlessly derivative of The Hunger Games as it was, the film was set out well enough to just about work. Sadly the world-building and the tale of Tris Prior's struggles as one of the "Divergent" group has moved on to just setting up a rebels vs. tyrants plot, coupled with a generic romance and a confusing plot. The films do manage to have a somewhat promising cast (hence my apologies to Kate Winslet and Shailene Woodley, both of whom are usually a good sign in terms of casting) but here I just feel like they could have had better opportunities than this.

7. Jupiter Ascending

Oh, the Wachowskis. I have struggled with the work of this Australian duo. I'll go on record as saying that as influential as it was, I've never been a big fan of The Matrix (1999) and despite reappraisals, I doubt I'll ever develop a fond opinion of Speed Racer (2007) (though partly because I think that a much better film could be made from the source material). I did find myself as a defender of the duo's polarising, ambitious and underrated Cloud Atlas (2012), and then Jupiter Ascending shows up.

Juliter Ascending is a film that never truly settles on what it wants to be. Clearly its influences lie in the realms of space opera, but cannot decide firmly on being a wholesale homage like Star Wars, or an affectionate pastiche like Mike Hodges' adaptation of Flash Gordon. Mixed in with this is the overly-complicated premise, goofy designs and a baffling acting performance from Eddie Redmayne who goes from whispering to insane hollering. As a longtime defender of the Star Wars prequels, I can't shake the feeling that this film is what critics of the prequels see. If that is the case, I understand your rage.

6. The Boy Next Door

Part of me was considering leaving The Boy Next Door off of my list because as bad as the film is, I sort of like it in an inept, ironic Showgirls-esque fashion. Jennifer Lopez plays a middle-aged suburban mother who finds herself falling for her handsome young neighbour...who also happens to be violent psychopath.

Too brash and action-packed for a made-for-TV melodrama and too glossy to be a particularly hard-hitting thriller, The Boy Next Door is still appreciable for being as shamelessly crazy and contrived as it is. It may be fun to watch with friends at a party, but quality cinema it is not.

5. Mortdecai

Can we just reach a common consensus that most of the time spy comedies don’t work? The Austin Powers series constitutes some of the best and they’ve never really been much better than “okay”. Still, Mortdecai arrived and failed to heed the warning of so many failures before. Johnny Depp stars as the moustachioed toff of the title and is at his most buffoonish whilst a supporting cast amble with Depp through a series of poor gags and a running gag about Mortdecai’s nose broom that just…keeps…going. This is low-grade comedy and audiences deserve better.

4. By The Sea

Having already seen her World War II drama Unbroken, I saw Angelina Jolie-Pitt as a director of promise. By The Sea has shaken my faith in her potential slightly. Here she stars opposite her husband Brad Jolie-Pitt as an American couple in a broken marriage holidaying in France, which presents a new twist in their relationship.

Given the prominent roles of Hollywood's power couple "Branjelina", the appearance of a vanity project becomes fairly clear. Both of the Jolie-Pitts are talented and intelligent enough for this to have perhaps not been intentional, but this is a film that wallows in the rarified glamour in which they live. It's the south of France in the time of Bardot, it's wealthy artist types and the high-life. It is also a drama but with these problems of the "beautiful people", there is not much to empathise or sympathise with and not even an atmosphere for which to feel much emotional connection. What results? A solidly dull and pretentious two hours.

3. The Gallows

One of the things that has filled me with hope recently is the arrival of a new crop of decent mainstream horror films that suggest that the doldrums of modern horror may soon be but a memory. The Gallows is a stark reminder that those dark days have not yet passed. Whilst in its barest of elements, The Gallows would be a dumb and forgettable found-footage movie, there are a number of issues that push it beyond forgettable into the memorably poor.

Even for a horror film, the premise seems convoluted and tacked-on, including the found-footage angle (Found-footage has recently become popular as a money-saving device. How high of a budget could you possibly need when you're shooting with unknown actors almost entirely in a dark and empty high school?) and a cast that is either extremely annoying (our initial cameraman is so obnoxious he totally eradicates any sympathy) or spectacularly mis-cast (I don't care how "weird" she seems to be, the lead actress is far too pretty and mostly normal to be an outcast in a high school). One of the worst horror films I have ever seen.

2. Knock Knock

It probably strikes some people as weird that as a male feminist I still have a great appreciation for horror movies. Trashy horror movies at that. These are films often accused of misogyny which I have only partially agreed with, for reasons too long-winded to explain here.

Knock Knock provided a very clear insight into that notion that horror movies could be accused of being anti-woman. Keanu Reeves plays a husband and father who ends up playing host to two young women who proceed to first seduce Keanu before staging a full -blown home invasion. Roth's influences are very much from the 70's grindhouse school and that's all well and good. Thrown up into a modern context however produces something very dark and borderline hateful.

This film's whole purpose seems to be in exploring women as seducers and sadists with no real decent female counterpoint (in effect, the film only has three major cast members) to balance it out. I know Eli Roth is a director who revels in pure exploitation and I actually applaud that he does so, but when the message is as wrong-footed as this seems to be, the urge is to cleanse oneself as soon as this was all over.

1. Fifty Shades Of Grey

Hopes were never going to be high for this adaptation of E.L James' massively successful but equally reviled erotic novel. I went in with no real insight into the source material (though what I did know set up some very low expectations) and I was met with expectedly poor writing and an equally expected despicable main character in Christian Grey (not so much romantic lead as a horrifyingly possessive and self-destructive psycho-in-the-making) but also direction by Sam Taylor-Johnson that was only matched in sterility by the absolute absence of chemistry between Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan.

If the film had been more audacious and shocking, it would have at least had a conviction to commend it, but this less-than-lukewarm turkey was a profoundly unpleasant experience. Worst still, there's still more adaptations coming. I don't see them getting any better, and yet I can't see how they can be much worse.

Awful.

FILM REVIEWS: BLACK MASS, BRIDGE OF SPIES, CAROL, DOCTOR ZHIVAGO, THE GOOD DINOSAUR

Black Mass

Famed for his rather chameleonic abilities as an actor, Johnny Depp (complete with blonde hair and blue eyes) plays notorious gangster James “Whitey” Bulger in this telling of Bulger’s crimes and investigations. It’s telling how much of an influence Martin Scorsese has had on the crime genre that this film sticks so closely to that style a great deal. That isn’t entirely a fault of the film as its own stabs at originality (including the murkier look than your standard Scorsese picture) help give the film its own identity and keeps the action engaging. The problem is more to do with the uneven way Bulger’s life is documented. Whilst much focus is given to the rather shady way in which Bulger started working for the CIA occasional diversions into Bulger’s more direct activities and his relationship with his seemingly straight-and-narrow politician brother played by Benedict Cumberbatch (a subplot that is easily the film’s most interesting element) throw the focus a little too haphazardly and Depp’s heavily made-up features and imposing frame do cut a little from Bulger being a believable character. Not one of Depp’s best moments, but equally (if not more so) not one of his worst. Also features Joel Edgerton, Jesse Plemons, Peter Sarsgaard, Dakota Johnson, Adam Scott, Corey Stoll and Juno Temple.

Bridge Of Spies

It’s hard not to have high hopes for a project that involves director Steven Spielberg, leading actors Tom Hanks and Mark Rylance alongside a screenplay partially written by the Coen brothers so it’s at least reassuring that Bridge Of Spies goes some way to living up to that potential. Hanks plays lawyer James B. Donovan who finds himself defending Soviet agent Rudolf Abel, played by Rylance. Donovan’s work will not only serve to help save Abel’s life from execution but later serve in negotiations to free two young Americans (Will Rogers, Austin Stowell) on the Eastern side of the Berlin Wall. Despite being two renowned actors of different disciplines (Tom Hanks being a veteran of TV and film whilst Mark Rylance’s career has been, until recently, dominated by theatre) it is the two leads that help bring this film to such a high level. As always, Tom Hanks is an assured and warm presence with an idealistic sincerity unmatched most of his contemporaries, recalling Henry Fonda and James Stewart whilst Rylance’s droll but dignified delivery makes a fine counterpoint.

As the film progresses, the slightly off-kilter and humorous approach that is distinctive of the Coens starts to make more of a presence but serves to aid the film even though it would seem at odds with the earnest intentions. There are problems, noticeably in the rather washed-out (if somewhat justified) cinematography and this doesn’t quite deliver the upmost in emotional heft that Spielberg is so masterful at wielding, but this is still something of an endearing and impressive film. **** (pick of the week)

Carol

Todd Haynes directs this adaptation of Patricia Highsmith’s novel (originally titled The Price Of Salt) about an affair between two women; the worldly middle-aged Carol (Cate Blanchett) and reserved young Therese (Rooney Mara). Set against the backdrop of 50’s America, Haynes’ direction and Edward Lachman’s cinematography make for a gorgeous combination coupled with the passionate and romantic prose of Highsmith and screenwriter Phylis Nagy. Cate Blanhett is wonderful as always, encapsulating both a poise and a knowing intelligence about the world as Mara’s wide-eyed (literal as well as metaphorical) innocence provides a characterful balance. The high emotional stakes may push the film perhaps a little too close to melodrama at times, but all things considered this is an impressive effort. ****

Doctor Zhivago

Now celebrating its fiftieth anniversary, David Lean’s screen adaptation of Boris Pasternak’s romance epic returns to screens large enough to capture Lean’s panoramic visions in all of their splendour. Omar Sharif plays the physician poet of the title whose affair for the beautiful Lara (Julie Christie)  comes and goes with the turbulence of the dawning Soviet Union. At over three hours and with noticeably sentimentalist bent, Zhivago doesn’t quite reach the heights of Lean’s Lawrence Of Arabia (1962), the film that made Sharif an icon, but the spectacular scenery and a cast of legendary actors giving it their all makes this film’s status as a classic a justifiable one. Amongst the supporting players are Alec Guinness,  Rod Steiger, Tom Courtenay, Geraldine Chaplin, Ralph Richardson, Rita Tushingham and Klaus Kinski to name but a few. ****

The Good Dinosaur

2015 has been a busy year for the folks at Pixar with two theatrical releases. Earlier this year saw Inside Out, possibly one of the most intelligent family films of all time and already established as one of Pixar’s best. Outing number two for the company, The Good Dinosaur, has languished on the shelf and whilst the resulting film has its moments to shine, it definitely falters in Inside Out’s shadow.

Raymond Ochoa is a dinosaur runt named Arlo who finds himself far from home after chasing a wild human child (the film being set in an alternate reality where dinosaurs evolved into sentient creatures rather than become extinct). As Arlo and the human boy, named “Spot”, travel through the wilderness they encounter many traps and here’s a central issue for the film. With its child protagonist and bright, colourful aesthetic (even for Pixar standards) this may seem to appeal to younger children but instead strays into some harsh territory that might be a little rough for very young children alongside other factors (this may be the only Pixar film to have what is essentially an acid trip sequence). Borrowing elements from Lion King (1994) and, of course, The Land Before Time (1986), The Good Dinosaur is not a film to pull its punches, which is commendable, and has some gorgeous animation and ideas, but also laboured writing and the aforementioned inappropriate material for very sensitive viewers. Pixar have done better, but considering their very high standard, this doesn’t make for an altogether bad film. ***