Top 10 Worst Films Of 2015

10. Hot Pursuit

Well, first things first, the title. We have a film about a female cop and the partner of a drug lord in the setup to an action-comedy and yet it still seems appropriate to have the title and advertising make sum up as "Ain't they a little too pretty to wind up in this misadventure?". Aren't we more enlightened than that by now? Thankfully the film has a saving grace in the casting of Sofia Vergara and Reese Witherspoon as the leads; two talented actresses with fine comic chops, but the by-the-numbers plot and rather unworthy gags make for a generally disappointing experience.

9. Fantastic Four

Of all of the disasters and flops in Hollywood this past year, it's hard to think of any as spectacular or well-publicised as the failed attempt to reboot the Fantastic Four. Whilst Marvel seemed to have the golden touch (having also this year, managed to rescue the troubled Ant-Man and turned it into one of the franchise's best films), it quickly tainted with this mediocre and ill-judged attempt at resurrection. Conflicts between director, writer and cast are already becoming notorious and it's looks as if the cast had absolutely no guidance on set, with largely detached performances, a plot that really only kicks in right at the very end of the film and some insane casting choices I've ever seen (Jamie Bell is a perfect Tin-Tin, but The Thing? THE THING!?). Sooner or later the bubble had to burst in Marvel, and the Fantastic Four showed that the money-making machine was still fallable.

8. Insurgent

Ms. Winslet, Ms. Woodley, I am so sorry. It just wouldn't be a Top 10 Worst Films Of The Year list without a Young Adult novel adaptation making an appearance and this year, it is the turn of the follow-up to Divergent (2013). In of itself, Divergent was a reasonably enjoyable film. Doubtlessly derivative of The Hunger Games as it was, the film was set out well enough to just about work. Sadly the world-building and the tale of Tris Prior's struggles as one of the "Divergent" group has moved on to just setting up a rebels vs. tyrants plot, coupled with a generic romance and a confusing plot. The films do manage to have a somewhat promising cast (hence my apologies to Kate Winslet and Shailene Woodley, both of whom are usually a good sign in terms of casting) but here I just feel like they could have had better opportunities than this.

7. Jupiter Ascending

Oh, the Wachowskis. I have struggled with the work of this Australian duo. I'll go on record as saying that as influential as it was, I've never been a big fan of The Matrix (1999) and despite reappraisals, I doubt I'll ever develop a fond opinion of Speed Racer (2007) (though partly because I think that a much better film could be made from the source material). I did find myself as a defender of the duo's polarising, ambitious and underrated Cloud Atlas (2012), and then Jupiter Ascending shows up.

Juliter Ascending is a film that never truly settles on what it wants to be. Clearly its influences lie in the realms of space opera, but cannot decide firmly on being a wholesale homage like Star Wars, or an affectionate pastiche like Mike Hodges' adaptation of Flash Gordon. Mixed in with this is the overly-complicated premise, goofy designs and a baffling acting performance from Eddie Redmayne who goes from whispering to insane hollering. As a longtime defender of the Star Wars prequels, I can't shake the feeling that this film is what critics of the prequels see. If that is the case, I understand your rage.

6. The Boy Next Door

Part of me was considering leaving The Boy Next Door off of my list because as bad as the film is, I sort of like it in an inept, ironic Showgirls-esque fashion. Jennifer Lopez plays a middle-aged suburban mother who finds herself falling for her handsome young neighbour...who also happens to be violent psychopath.

Too brash and action-packed for a made-for-TV melodrama and too glossy to be a particularly hard-hitting thriller, The Boy Next Door is still appreciable for being as shamelessly crazy and contrived as it is. It may be fun to watch with friends at a party, but quality cinema it is not.

5. Mortdecai

Can we just reach a common consensus that most of the time spy comedies don’t work? The Austin Powers series constitutes some of the best and they’ve never really been much better than “okay”. Still, Mortdecai arrived and failed to heed the warning of so many failures before. Johnny Depp stars as the moustachioed toff of the title and is at his most buffoonish whilst a supporting cast amble with Depp through a series of poor gags and a running gag about Mortdecai’s nose broom that just…keeps…going. This is low-grade comedy and audiences deserve better.

4. By The Sea

Having already seen her World War II drama Unbroken, I saw Angelina Jolie-Pitt as a director of promise. By The Sea has shaken my faith in her potential slightly. Here she stars opposite her husband Brad Jolie-Pitt as an American couple in a broken marriage holidaying in France, which presents a new twist in their relationship.

Given the prominent roles of Hollywood's power couple "Branjelina", the appearance of a vanity project becomes fairly clear. Both of the Jolie-Pitts are talented and intelligent enough for this to have perhaps not been intentional, but this is a film that wallows in the rarified glamour in which they live. It's the south of France in the time of Bardot, it's wealthy artist types and the high-life. It is also a drama but with these problems of the "beautiful people", there is not much to empathise or sympathise with and not even an atmosphere for which to feel much emotional connection. What results? A solidly dull and pretentious two hours.

3. The Gallows

One of the things that has filled me with hope recently is the arrival of a new crop of decent mainstream horror films that suggest that the doldrums of modern horror may soon be but a memory. The Gallows is a stark reminder that those dark days have not yet passed. Whilst in its barest of elements, The Gallows would be a dumb and forgettable found-footage movie, there are a number of issues that push it beyond forgettable into the memorably poor.

Even for a horror film, the premise seems convoluted and tacked-on, including the found-footage angle (Found-footage has recently become popular as a money-saving device. How high of a budget could you possibly need when you're shooting with unknown actors almost entirely in a dark and empty high school?) and a cast that is either extremely annoying (our initial cameraman is so obnoxious he totally eradicates any sympathy) or spectacularly mis-cast (I don't care how "weird" she seems to be, the lead actress is far too pretty and mostly normal to be an outcast in a high school). One of the worst horror films I have ever seen.

2. Knock Knock

It probably strikes some people as weird that as a male feminist I still have a great appreciation for horror movies. Trashy horror movies at that. These are films often accused of misogyny which I have only partially agreed with, for reasons too long-winded to explain here.

Knock Knock provided a very clear insight into that notion that horror movies could be accused of being anti-woman. Keanu Reeves plays a husband and father who ends up playing host to two young women who proceed to first seduce Keanu before staging a full -blown home invasion. Roth's influences are very much from the 70's grindhouse school and that's all well and good. Thrown up into a modern context however produces something very dark and borderline hateful.

This film's whole purpose seems to be in exploring women as seducers and sadists with no real decent female counterpoint (in effect, the film only has three major cast members) to balance it out. I know Eli Roth is a director who revels in pure exploitation and I actually applaud that he does so, but when the message is as wrong-footed as this seems to be, the urge is to cleanse oneself as soon as this was all over.

1. Fifty Shades Of Grey

Hopes were never going to be high for this adaptation of E.L James' massively successful but equally reviled erotic novel. I went in with no real insight into the source material (though what I did know set up some very low expectations) and I was met with expectedly poor writing and an equally expected despicable main character in Christian Grey (not so much romantic lead as a horrifyingly possessive and self-destructive psycho-in-the-making) but also direction by Sam Taylor-Johnson that was only matched in sterility by the absolute absence of chemistry between Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan.

If the film had been more audacious and shocking, it would have at least had a conviction to commend it, but this less-than-lukewarm turkey was a profoundly unpleasant experience. Worst still, there's still more adaptations coming. I don't see them getting any better, and yet I can't see how they can be much worse.

Awful.