Starring: Gemma Arterton, Jeremy Renner, Famke Jannsen
Left in the woods as children, Hansel (Cedric Eich, Renner)
and Gretel (Arterton, Alea Sophia Boudodimos) happen upon a house made of candy
and the witch (Monique Ganderton) who lives therein captures the two children.
However, Hansel and Gretel break free and kill the witch. Years later the now
grown brother and sister travel Europe dispatching witches as soldiers of
fortune. Stopping off in one town, they find out about a witch (Jannsen) who
has kidnapped several of the town’s children.
Recently, there’s been a trend with darker takes on fairy tales
with last year’s Snow White & The Huntsman and the yet to be released Jack
The Giant Slayer. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters continues in that vein and
for every good idea that it has (Hansel’s weakness, a disease that comes from
him eating too much candy whilst being a child captive, is an interesting
allusion to diabetes) there’s about five dumb ones. The film is set in some
theme-park all-purpose central Europe where everyone’s a homogenous blend of
European and American, except for the two very Americanised leads. Odd,
considering the German production and the fact that the cast is in no small
part, composed of European actors; the British Gemma Arterton, the Dutch Famke
Jannsen, the Swedish Peter Stormare and many others. The film is painfully off-kilter
with its depictions of history, especially in terms of weapons and language.
This was probably a tongue-in-cheek self-aware element of the script, but it’s
so overblown and all-encompassing, it also feels somewhat genuinely sincere. If
would’ve been interesting to see the film play a little more towards the humour
and perhaps take a few lessons from Army Of Darkness (1992), which the film
seems to have been a little influenced by, especially in the witch designs.
Alas, it goes for the lowest common denominator with flashy 3D gimmicks and far
less brains than it should have; but unless you like a film where two vigilante
siblings blow up witches and featuring two Bond girls in prominent roles (okay, I admit that sounds a little
cool) go see it. Just don’t expect anything particularly good.
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